I Will Smile

Tag!!!

2012-01-26T16:44:00.000-05:00

What is your comfort food/drink? Food = macaroni and cheese or my mom's homemade tomato soup! Drink = if I'm feverish, orange juice. Other times milk or water.
If you inherited a million dollars, what is the first thing you would do with your money? Hmm. Give some to the local charities (crisis pregnancy centers, homeless shelter), some to the church, and then buy a family friend a new house.
What is one of your favorite things to catch a whiff of? Lilies, chocolate brownies, my mom's chocolate chip cookies...
If money wasn't a factor, what stores would you shop in? Forever 21, JCPenney, Target
What are your favorite animals? Lizards, most birds, penguins
What movie or book character can you most relate to? Ugh...um. Rapunzel in Tangled, I guess.
What is your greatest fear or strange phobia? Greatest fear? Being rejected by my friends. Strange phobia? I can't stand sleeping with my roll-shut closet doors on the wrong sides. (I guess that's not a phobia...but...)
Out of the four seasons, which one would you like to last all year around? Autumn, if autumn is considered cold here in Florida. I wouldn't want 28 degree nights (which we get occasionally) all year, but I hate summer weather.
Do you like pickles? On hamburgers.
What is your favorite book? Too many to list. :)
What is your favorite movie? Tangled!

Photo Challenge: Edited Photos

2012-01-24T20:25:00.000-05:00

BEFORE:

AFTER:

Dreams. Come. True.

2012-01-19T18:20:00.000-05:00

Glen, a friend of mine, plays the saxophone in his high school band. He is going to districts. This will happen in February. He will be playing Eugene Bozza's "Aria."

No biggie, right?

No.

Except that... I AM HIS PIANO ACCOMPANIMENT!!!! He phoned last night and asked to speak with my parents (to ask permission) and then he came on the phone with me and said..."I'm going to play at districts in February and I was wondering if you'd like to be my piano accompaniment."

I about passed out. Seriously. I mean, I know I'm not famous because of this, but this is still HUGE for me! 8)

Another photo

2012-01-13T12:05:00.000-05:00

Photography

2012-01-12T16:42:00.000-05:00

I wanted to do more, but my computer wouldn't work! :(

50,000

2012-01-10T10:56:00.002-05:00

I have almost 47,000 views on YouTube! My 1 year "birthday" is in 7 days and I really want to get to 50,000 views by then!!! If you haven't already, check out my page! :))

AUTOGRAPH!!!!

2012-01-09T11:06:00.000-05:00

I got an autograph from Emily Bear herself!!!

2012!

2012-01-01T19:26:00.000-05:00

This is the year I turn 16.

This is the year I get my driver's permit and possibly license.

This is the year two of my friends leave for college. :(

This is the year I become a junior.

For Good. Always. ♥

2011-12-29T20:22:00.000-05:00

(This is a long post, even for me…)

“You’ll NEVER be able to do it!”

“Do you want to live in poverty?!”

“It’s good that you enjoy your hobby, sweetie, but you can’t do much in LIFE with it.”

“ARE YOU CRAZY?! You will NEVER be anything but a failure in life!” *BIG cringe*

Kind, supportive, encouraging relatives. They say they love you, that they’ll always be there for you, that they are there to support you. And, if you’re like me, you’ve been wondering for a LONG time if the definitions of the terms, “love,” “always be there,” and “support” have changed without your knowledge. EVERY quote above has been thrown at me by my supportive, loving, ever-present relatives.

MANY, MANY times, I’ve been SO READY to give up my dreams of majoring in music and making it my career. To give up my dreams of playing at Carnegie Hall and around the world. Why? Because of stupid, endless arguments over holiday dinners, over the phone, over the internet.

And, what do I do? Do what they tell me to? After all, they ARE older than me. They DO have more experience than I do. Common sense would tell me to do what they say.

BUT, one thing that they have done that I’ve never done is give up dreams. My aunt’s greatest dream was to become a world-class ballerina. She had a few accidents (and recovered), encountered some difficulty, had financial trouble, and eventually just gave up.

So one thing that I’ve always wondered is, “Does she not want to see me succeed because I would be fulfilling my dream, unlike she did?”

And yes, it is SAD that people have to give up dreams. It IS sad. But just because THEY had to give up doesn’t mean they have any right to tell you that YOU have to give up. If they tell you that, chances are that they are afraid that you will become what THEY hoped to be. That is selfish, petty, and NOT a good reason for them to beat you across the head and tell you to throw out your dreams.

My mantra over the past few months has been, “If I feel that God is telling me to do it, I obey.” I OBEY. You have NO IDEA how scared I was about cantoring at Mass the first time. My friends kept telling me that I sounded fine, but I still had second thoughts. The deciding factor? God. I’d come up with excuses in my head while trying to decide, and God would shoo those thoughts away with positive thoughts. “You can do it, My daughter!” “It’s for My glory, not for them, My love.”

Christmas Day, my grandma asked me AGAIN what I wanted to major in, as if she thinks that the more often she asks, the higher the chances are that I will change my mind. I answered, as I always do, “Double major, music and something else.”

“Well, there goes your life.”

Yes. My grandmother. On Christmas Day. “There goes your life.”

Before that point, during these kind of arguments, I had either faked a smile and nodded, broken down and cried, or just walked off. But this time, something inside of me snapped. I was reading a book while lying on the floor while she made that comment. Without looking up, I just said, “Well, that is your opinion.”

She flung back, “Your Aunt Lori wanted to major in dance. She tried and had to give up.”

Again, not looking up, I just replied, “Well, not everyone’s story ends the same. I might become the next famous pianist.”

No reply from my grandma this time besides a snort.

“You know, Nana, I love you. But YOU are NOT the ultimate deciding factor in my life. I do what God tells me to do. I feel that He is calling me to do something with the gift of music that He has given me, and I plan to do what He tells me to do.”

She opened her mouth, shut it again, opened it, and shut it again.

“God works all things together for good for those who are called according to His purpose.”

God gives us relatives to help guide us. But when those relatives don’t look to Him before they “counsel” us, they can unwittingly steer us wrong.

ALL THINGS TOGETHER.

I was playing little tunes by ear on our electric 2-octave keyboard at the age of seven. I started lessons at the age of eight. My teacher and I started having trouble during lessons because we just didn’t get along when I was around eleven.

March of this year, I danced at a ladies’ retreat at the local Baptist church. The music leader was a piano teacher. I heard from my dance teachers that she taught piano and struck up a conversation with her. In May, I started lessons with her. She left town for four months. FOUR MONTHS I have been flying solo without a teacher. She’s back now and starts teaching in January.

July of 2010, I got a real piano. It was always losing its tune, the pedals didn’t work, and the keys stuck something awful. We ran into some financial trouble later last year and early this year. Then, my dad started working again, and we found someone who would sell us a Kawai grand piano for a really good price. (And it only had 5 percent wear; essentially new!) We bought it in mid-September and it arrived at the beginning of October.

I wanted to quit piano in May of 2010. I had no motivation, no real reason to keep playing. Then I stumbled across Emily Bear on YouTube. She inspired me to keep playing because she was so young and so good. December of last year, she played at Carnegie Hall for the first time. Then I realized that piano was my passion.

Now, that was a lot. But that all shows God working things together for my good. “If God closes a door, He opens a window.” I was playing by ear and then started lessons. I started having problems with my piano teacher, danced at a retreat, and, in what many people would call sheer coincidence, met my new piano teacher. I thought about finding a new teacher when she was gone for so long, and then found out the weekend before I was going to make the phone calls that she was back in town. I needed a new piano (even my teacher said so) but we just didn’t have the money. My dad started working again and I got my beautiful Kawai grand. I wanted to quit because I didn’t have any motivation and then I discovered Emily Bear.

God works all things together for good. ALL THINGS TOGETHER FOR GOOD. ALL THINGS.

I haven’t had encouragement from my relatives, but my friends encourage me more than I imagined possible. All things together for good. Always.

I see my friends just surrender to their relatives and give up on their biggest dreams. It makes me cry. I don’t want the very people who encourage me to pursue my dreams to give up on their own.

If you wait for Him to tell you what He wants you to do, He’ll work it out. Always. If you are lacking something that you need to fulfill His plans for you, He’ll give you what you need. Always. And, no matter what you do, He’s there for you. Always.

Don’t give up. God will support you. Always.

A Little Princess

2011-12-27T22:46:00.000-05:00

"I AM A PRINCESS! ALL girls are! Even if they live in tiny old attics. Even if they dress in rags! Even if they aren't pretty! Or smart! Or young! They're still princesses! ALL OF US. Didn't your father ever tell you that? DIDN'T HE?"

Christmas Self-Portrait

2011-12-26T15:29:00.001-05:00

Christmas photo of me! Why, yes, I AM in the bathroom, which is why the ceiling angles down at the back of the photo...uh...so...yeah. :)

Only One!!!

2011-12-24T09:17:00.000-05:00

Follow the star to a place unexpected
Would you believe, after all we've projected,
A child in a manger?
Lowly and small, the weakest of all
Unlikeliest hero, wrapped in his mother's shawl -
Just a child -
Is this who we've waited for? 'cause...
How many kings stepped down from their thrones?
How many lords have abandoned their homes?
How many greats have become the least for me?
And how many gods have poured out their hearts
To romance a world that is torn all apart
How many fathers gave up their sons for me?

Bringing our gifts for the newborn Savior
All that we have, whether costly or meek
Because we believe.
Gold for his honor, and frankincense for his pleasure
And myrrh for the cross he will suffer
Do you believe?
Is this who we've waited for?

How many kings stepped down from their thrones?
How many lords have abandoned their homes?
How many greats have become the least for me?
And how many gods have poured out their hearts
To romance a world that is torn all apart
How many fathers gave up their sons for me?

Only ONE did that for me.

Have a BLESSED Christmas, everyone!!! Don't forget the Reason for the season!

Wonderful Counselor! Almighty God! The Everlasting Father! The Prince of Peace!!!

Gloria in excelsis Deo et in terra pax hominibus!!!

Christmas Photos!

2011-12-23T17:20:00.000-05:00

My stocking!

After the Wedding

2011-12-10T16:24:00.001-05:00

I got to sing at a wedding today!!! :))

L-R: Asia, me, Eden, Faith, Kailey

Emily Bear, Charity Ball

2011-12-09T15:32:00.000-05:00

Once again, I just edited. :) This was in Beverly Hills, a charity ball for UNICEF (uh...) and ticket prices ranged from $1,000 to $50,000.

One reason I didn't go. ;)

Edited Photos of Emily!

2011-12-08T19:31:00.000-05:00

I LOVE HOW THIS TURNED OUT!!!!!!!! :-)

This is the result of "Trini gets bored." :)

Smile!

2011-12-08T13:58:00.001-05:00

Still wonder why I love them?

Captions are welcome!

Emily Bear at Carnegie Hall

2011-12-03T21:30:00.000-05:00

These are VIDEOS of Emily at Carnegie Hall!!! (I didn't take them myself.)

I can play both pieces, but she changed them slightly. :)

Photo Contest: Scrabble Tiles!

2011-11-30T12:24:00.000-05:00

I did two this time, for kicks! :)

Christmas Eve 4:00

2011-11-25T18:21:00.000-05:00

I'm playing the piano at the Christmas Eve Mass this year!!! Yay!!!! Here's the piece I will be playing...

This is Emily Bear's original arrangement of "Silent Night." I've had two days of practice on this piece, so pardon the mistakes!

This makes me laugh!!!

2011-11-25T17:13:00.000-05:00

Haha, talk about over-edited!

Christmas Music

2011-11-25T10:45:00.002-05:00

Enjoying the Small Things

2011-11-23T21:49:00.000-05:00

I'm thankful for so many things.

My lizards. They make me so happy!!!

My piano. I probably wouldn't survive without it.

LIFETEEN!!! LifeTeen has become the highlight of my week. :)

Family.
Friends.
My house.
Sunsets.
Beaches.
Hummingbirds.
Rain.
Wind.
Sun.

What are you thankful for???

Thought for the Day

2011-11-22T20:40:00.000-05:00

Quote by Les Brown; edited by me.

The WEEKEND!!!!

2011-11-18T12:42:00.000-05:00

Agenda:

Saturday: Do who-knows-what...clean the house...laze around all day...not sure what we're doing.

Sunday: LIFETEEN MASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And solo cantoring! And the parish Thanksgiving dinner!!! I'm excited! But tragically...there's no LifeTeen meetings for TWO WEEKS after that!!! I'm gonna die!

"It's Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday..." Sorry. I just had to torture you. :)

Thankful, Day 1

2011-11-17T13:57:00.002-05:00

In the week leading up to Thanksgiving, I will be doing seven posts about what I'm thankful for. Today's topic: My friends!!! To name a few…{links lead to their Tumblrs}

Eden: You are one of the best friends I’ve ever had. Not many people my age can say they’ve been friends with someone since first grade and never had a fight. You are one of the most loyal, kind, sincere, kooky, and loving friends I have ever had. You put up with my griping, my venting, my complaining…and you never hesitate to whip me back into shape if I need it. You’re there for me all the time…in my face with every question you have…encouraging me even when I’m beating myself up. :) I <3 you so much!!!!

Faith: I don’t care what you say about yourself. You are SUCH an inspiration to me. I’ve known you for what, all of three months? You’ve taught me that things we go through can help us better understand how people feel who go through similar things. You’ve taught me that I CAN overcome my past. You’ve taught me that what people say and/or do about you and your dreams doesn’t define you or your value as a human. You’ve taught me that I’m NOT the only one struggling with certain things. You’ve taught me that it DOESN’T take years to make a good friend. You’ve taught me that it’s OKAY to cry and that I’m NOT a baby for doing so. And last but not least, you’ve taught me that screaming into my pillow when I’m mad does good. :) Seriously, it helps!

And of course, your voice is INSANELY good!!!!!! I <3 you bunches!!!

Kourtney and Tiffany: Oh, my, oh, my. Where to start with the two of you? You are two of the three people who can ALWAYS make me laugh, whether I feel like it or not. You both are so kind and so talented, and I am SO blessed to have you as my friends. I <3 both of you!!!

Asia: You’ve shown me that even if your heart breaks, you can overcome it and that God never abandons you. I don’t care if you’re nearly four years older than me. You are one of my best friends, too. You encourage me…you don’t treat me like a dork…you have a voice that is worth a million dollars… I <3 you lots and lots!!!

Vanessa, aka Vuki Heinz: Girl, you are the craziest kid I’ve ever met! And at the same time, you are one of the truest, bluest friends I’ve made at dance. You're always singing songs that your school choir is working on and making up crazy dances to them. You may not be trying to, but it ALWAYS makes me laugh. Crazy to think that we started off hating each other!!!<3 you, Vuki!!!

Photo Contest Entry! Again!

2011-11-16T12:00:00.000-05:00

Julio and Winnie...best photo of them that I have! They're special; Julio has three feet because of an accident he had in the window, and Winnie's back legs are paralyzed. They both cause me more trouble each than all of my other lizards do put together!!!

Upside Down

2011-11-15T19:54:00.002-05:00

...when people you love and thought you knew, change?
...when things come to light that show gaping wounds, ancient scars, and a salt shaker up-ended above them?
...when people you trusted aren't trustworthy?
...when people have two sides - one side with all the appearance of goodness, the other revealing a corrupted heart?
...when people profess to be Christians - but show anything but Christian behavior?
...when parents neglect children and teenagers who need love above all else?
...when you see people you've come to love and care about deeply wounded by other people you both love(d) and care(d) about?

...when all of the above are taking place around you to people you love and you didn't know?
...and then you learn all of it in less than two days?

Goodness gracious, does this ever sound like my life the past few weeks. And my, how much of this applies to family. Yes, girls, I said family. Not "friends who feel like family," "to my other friends' families," but "my family." How? Why? I honestly don't know. I am so afraid to trust the friends I have, old or new, with any of my secrets. Even Faith or Vanessa. They are two of my closest friends. But if I can't trust family, how can I trust non-family?

And yet, I can't live a life not trusting people. That's not a possible way for you to live. But sometimes, I wonder why it can't be.

(Oh, and the italicized text is from Jo March's blog.) :)

Tutti Cuore

2011-11-13T15:38:00.001-05:00

New composition by Emily Bear: "Tutti Cuore", meaning "All Heart" in Italian.

11/11/11

2011-11-11T11:16:00.002-05:00

It's 11/11/11. Did you wish at 11:11?

It's also Veteran's Day: If you enjoy your freedom, thank the veterans!!!

What I've Learned...in Photos

2011-11-11T11:03:00.002-05:00

Hard truth, girls.

Don't ask...just do it.

None of these photos are mine; I added the text.

Update on Life

2011-11-08T10:21:00.000-05:00

So here I am again, posting things about completely random bits of life and nothing really about LIFE.

School

Did someone say "nightmare"? Yes? I second the motion. Between chemistry, geometry, college reading (Ancient Romans), writing, piano, and French, I am uh...busy. I DID get an 84% on my chemistry test last Friday, which is quite an improvement from the 74 I got the time before that! (According to most, 74 is pretty good for chemistry...)

Dance

It's good, but I'm considering quitting tap because it's not really as much fun anymore. I'm praying about it.

We're actually working on TWO Christmas cantatas (I'm only doing one night of one of them), the Christmas parades, and recital for 2013!

Choir

WE HAVE BEEN INVITED TO SING AT A WEDDING!!!!! YES! REALLY! Our LifeTeen choir has been invited to sing at the wedding of two of our core members! I am REALLY excited!

I am cantoring the Agnus Dei instead of the Psalm on the 20th at Mass...I have a lot more to cantor during the Agnus Dei, but I think I'll do better with that than with the Psalm. Wish me luck!!

LifeTeen

AWESOME, as usual. We had adoration on Sunday and the songs we sang combined with the atmosphere combined with JESUS being THERE in the Eucharist...I felt SO close to God that I broke down crying. It was the most awesome feeling! I can't even describe it.

LifeTeen Songs

2011-11-07T13:59:00.003-05:00

Just Registered...

2011-11-07T12:55:00.001-05:00

FOR NANOWRIMO!!!!!!

Because He LOVES Me!!

2011-11-05T21:28:00.004-04:00

I changed the lyrics to Celine Dion's "Because You Loved Me" to fit MY truest Love, Jesus Christ!

For all those times You stand by me
For all the truth that You make me see
For all the joy You bring to my life
For all the wrong that You make right
For every dream You make come true
For all the love I find in You
I’ll be forever thankful, JESUS
You’re the one who holds me up
Never lets me fall
You’re the one who sees me through, through it all

You are my strength when I am weak
You are my voice when I cannot speak
You are my eyes when I cannot see
You see the best there is in me
You lift me up when I cannot reach
You give me faith ‘cause You believe
I’m everything I am
Because You love me

You give me wings and make me fly
You touch my hand I could touch the sky
I lose my faith, You give it back to me
You say no star was out of reach
You stand by me and I stand tall
I have Your love I have it all
I’m grateful for each day You give me
Maybe I don’t know that much
But I know this much is true
I am blessed because I am loved by You

You are my strength when I am weak
You are my voice when I cannot speak
You are my eyes when I cannot see
You see the best there is in me
You lift me up when I cannot reach
You give me faith ‘cause You believe
I’m everything I am
Because You love me

You are always there for me
The tender wind that carries me
A light in the dark shining Your love into my life
You are my inspiration
Through the lies You are the truth
My world is a better place because of You

You are my strength when I am weak
You are my voice when I cannot speak
You are my eyes when I cannot see
You see the best there is in me
You lift me up when I cannot reach
You give me faith ‘cause You believe
I’m everything I am
Because You love me

You are my strength when I am weak
You are my voice when I cannot speak
You are my eyes when I cannot see
You see the best there is in me
You lift up when I cannot reach
You give me faith ‘cause You believe
I’m everything I am
Because You love me.

My Pro-Life Arguments

2011-11-03T16:03:00.003-04:00

Go here to read. Feel free to comment in either the "Ask" box on my Tumblr or here! :)

The Story of Me

2011-11-02T10:31:00.001-04:00

My biggest dream is to play at Carnegie Hall.

My greatest fear is that I will disappoint God.

I’ve been taught to hold doors open for people, not talk with my mouth full, sit up straight, elbows off the table, to say please and thank you, and to let adults go first. I’ve been taught not to judge based upon looks but instead upon the heart. I’ve been taught to value inner beauty above outer beauty.

And I try.

I’ve been taught to love God above all else. I’ve been taught to love Him with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. I’ve been taught (and reminded time and time again by others) not to ever replace Him with anyone or anything else.

And I try.

I’ve been taught to value human life and respect the dignity of every human being. I’ve been taught to give humans, born, unborn, old, young, kind, mean, rich, or poor, the respect we give to anyone else.

And I try.

This is who I am. Or rather, who I try to be. So. Who are you?

Couldn't Stop Myself

2011-11-01T20:45:00.001-04:00

DON'T ask me why he wanted to sleep like this.

They can always make me smile. They were sleeping like this until my camera flashed.

Gushing

2011-11-01T15:30:00.002-04:00

LifeTeen. Is. Awesome.

I don't use the word "awesome" save for very few cases, but I have to put LifeTeen pretty close to the top of the list. The core members are awesome. The topics are awesome. The monthly LifeTeen Masses are awesome. The kids are awesome.

Choir rehearsal an hour and half before Life Nights (meetings) is awesome.

I have made some of the best friends I have ever made at LifeTeen. I've only been going for two months. Granted, two of them I have known for a really long time, but that doesn't account for the other three girls I've gotten really close to.

We have nights when I spend much of the time laughing, and we have nights when I cry. I have friends who I can be crazy with, and they are the same friends to whom I can pour out all my secrets and problems.

My non-LifeTeen friends are great. But it is WONDERFUL to have friends who have, as my dad put it, "Catholic brains."

The core members are amazing. I knew most of them before I started going, but the four members that I didn't know are every bit as amazing as the members that I did know. :)

I had to blur out the name of our hometown. :) Only group shot I have.

Allow me to summarize. LifeTeen is awesome.

Sing to the Lord...

2011-10-31T14:08:00.000-04:00

I am going to be cantoring on Christ the King at our LifeTeen Mass!!! *Screams* The tune of the Psalm that I will be cantoring to is the same one that we sang at my grandfather's funeral...and the Saturday after Christ the King happens to be the fourth anniversary of his death, so it's perfect!

I am as nervous as a racehorse...I haven't sung solo in front of an audience, especially not in something as important as Mass! I am REALLY going to be praying to St. Cecilia...I'm SO glad I chose her as my Confirmation saint! :D

Update on Julio

2011-10-29T22:09:00.000-04:00

Remember the day my lizard got stuck in the window and lost his back foot? Well he's still here 2 months later...with a fine stump, too! (His color is a bit off there because he was sleeping and he was working on turning green.) :)

So I Edit

2011-10-29T20:51:00.002-04:00

Didn't take this one myself.

Pray

2011-10-28T09:21:00.002-04:00

Hey all,

I've been under an enormous amount of stress lately and it's really having an affect on my mood, appetite, etc. I've felt hungry but I haven't wanted to eat anything, so I haven't really been eating. I've been upset but I brush it off. I'm behind in school, I don't feel like I'm living up to my standard.

So if ya'll could pray for me, I'd really appreciate it.

A Much Needed Update

2011-10-26T21:06:00.012-04:00

Hello, my friends!

As you know, I've been posting a lot more on Tumblr lately because my posts haven't been the happy kind you all like to read. :( And they would sound rather hypocritical with the blog title, don't you think? =)

Quite a few things have happened that I haven't posted about on here:

I've been pulled out of Tuesday co-op (violin, geography, and Bible study) due to my grades and my other extracurricular activities.
I've been thoroughly enjoying LifeTeen choir and am considering cantoring at the next LifeTeen Mass.
I've made a very good friend (who is going to dinner with us tomorrow night!!!!!).
I crossed 35,000 views on YouTube.
I've been dealing with my first hate mail. >.<
I won my first photo contest!!

I got some bad grades in chemistry (as in C's...that's unacceptable in our house) and I had to quit Tuesday co-op because we just couldn't do the extra day out of the house; I already have dance, gymnastics, choir, and LifeTeen, so I have a lot of stuff out of the house. I'll miss it. A lot. But God's got a plan!!

LifeTeen choir is AWESOME!!!! My friends Faith and Brianna are AMAZING singers and their voices make mine sound like a dying frog (which isn't bad; I really can't sing). They keep saying they aren't that good, but I could tell them otherwise...They keep telling me (along with the choir director an another close friend of mien) that I should try cantoring...so I've prayerfully been considering that. The next LifeTeen Mass happens to fall on the feast of Christ the King, so that would be a great day to cantor.

This is Faith.

In a matter of two months (that's as long as I've known her), she has become one of my closest friends. Like, ever. I completely lost it at LifeTeen on Sunday. We were talking about change. Some of you may know that I've had four relatives die over the span of two years. It was terrible. Another close friend of mine kind of ditched me. Those changes really took a toll on me on Sunday when I started talking about them. I don't usually talk about changes because A.) I don't usually have to, and B.) I don't like to. At all.

I didn't cry when I was talking about them. "While I was talking about them" is the key phrase.

Mrs. F, one of the core members, came up to me towards the end of the meeting and said, "Trini, what's wrong?" I said, "Nothing", as I always do...and then I lost it. I absolutely lost it. I told her about how I felt ditched, lost, unloved...it came spilling out.

Mrs. F. did all she could to comfort me. And it really helped. She had to help clean everything up before she left, though, and I had to leave as well. On my way out, Faith put her arm around me and asked me if I was okay. I answered honestly, "No." And I told her about the whole deal (without crying). And about Tuesday co-op. And about everything else. And even though she's three years older than I am, you know what she did? She gave me a hug. She didn't say anything. Then she looked at me and said, "I'm not gonna say all this cliche stuff because it'll sound silly. You know, 'It'll get better,' 'That's how life is,' and all that. I've had all that said to me and it doesn't help at all."

I told her that I hate crying because I feel like a wimp. She said something like, "Girl, do you know how much I cry? You're not a wimp."

I told her about how sometimes I want to scream at my parents, at my sister, and sometimes, even at God, but I can't (and won't) because I'd get in big trouble and I'd feel really bad. Know what she said? She didn't admonish me. She didn't say, "Good. You would get in a lot of trouble." Instead, she said, "Scream into your pillow. I do it all the time. It helps." And trust me. As crazy or goofy or silly as it sounds, it does.

And I'm sure you know this, but it is SO great to have a friend who just listens. Doesn't reprimand, doesn't criticize, doesn't laugh. And you wanna know something? I AM SO incredibly blessed to have more than one friend like that! (Eden, I'm doing a post about you soon.)

About the YouTube view count? Enough said.

About the hate mail...just click on the link. I don't feel like explaining it again.

THE PHOTO CONTEST!!! IT! WAS! SO! COOL! I won by a whopping 11 votes! I didn't win any prize; that's fine by me. :) Here's the winning photo.

That's all for now! Bye!

Stronger

2011-10-26T18:47:00.009-04:00

EDITED TO ADD: This all happened shortly after I posted a few things that stated my stand as a pro-lifer.

Many things have happened this past month that have made me MUCH stronger in my Catholic faith. It's also made me realize just how much I appreciate my knowledge of my beliefs. I've been dealing with hate. No, not I. God. I've been getting NASTY comments on my Tumblr from an Anonymous person. Here. I'll show you. And yes, all of these are real.

Your mom should've had an abortion, you're ugly and ignorant.

Anonymous

"And you’re not? I’m sorry, but I don’t see how talking to me in that way anonymously makes you any better than you are making me out to be. Judging people does NOT say who they are. It says who YOU are. If you are the same person harassing my friend (and I have STRONG hunch that you are), I will stand by her and I’m sure she will stand by me. Your insults will NOT change our beliefs, but instead, make them stronger. Any suffering we go through because of our faith makes us grow closer to JESUS CHRIST because we have some understanding of how He was hated on earth. So in reality, I must thank you. Your ignorance and unkindness has helped me grow closer to the One who has mapped out my life. Thank you.

NO amount of suffering would be great enough to make me change my pro-life beliefs. If you wish to talk about this in a civil, polite manner, come out of anonymous mode and we can discuss/debate whatever you have against me. If not, that is your choice. This is MY blog and I can post what I wish to post. Your opinion does not change what I believe. So you decide. It’s your turn.

I am praying for you. Curse at me, swear at me, call me names. Leave it up to God. Or, come out of anonymous and talk to me about why I am so “ugly and ignorant.” Regardless of what you decide, I’m praying for you."

Lovely, huh? That response wasn't me. It was God. I wasn't thinking as I was typing. The words just came. I got another comment after this from another Anonymous:

You are not ugly or ignorant! Don't listen to that....!! You are such an inspiration to me and I am touched by your by views. He is a jerk! So keep your head up and trust in God. (I know you will anyway)

Anonymous

"Thank you! But calling “Anonymous” names doesn’t help anything. All I can do right now is get on my knees and pray for Anon. and anyone else who feels the same way. And please, I BEG you, do the same."

Calling names does not help. Only prayers can. PLEASE, PLEASE pray for everyone with a pro-choice view. PLEASE.

I did a post after that.

"I’m pro-life. Go ahead. Hate me for it. HATE ME FOR IT! I dare you to hate me for it. WHY? BECAUSE NOTHING, repeat NOTHING you say will EVER make me change my mind. BECAUSE I am an abortion survivor, I will do EVERYTHING IN MY POWER to see that unborn children are safe.

And we pro-lifers will stand together. I am not one person. When I say “I”, I mean millions. NOTHING ANYONE says will make us change.

We will proclaim truth where lies are worshiped. We will stand for life in a place where death is celebrated. We will teach love where hatred is adored. You can kill. You can lie. You can hate.

But GOD IS ON OUR SIDE. GOD OVERPOWERS SATAN. GOD OVERPOWERS SATAN!!!!! GOD WILL CONQUER.

GOD IS ON MY SIDE. GOD IS ON OUR SIDE.

I am unwavering in my faith. That’s all there is to it. You can curse and yell and swear and call names. You can do any or all of those things until pigs fly. But NOTHING, repeat NOTHING you say will EVER make me change my mind.

I WILL PRAY FOR YOU! I AM UNWAVERING IN HIM!"

My first hate mail. My first time responding. God loves me!

Photo Contest Entry! Again!

2011-10-26T10:27:00.001-04:00

:) I changed the photo.

JO!!!!

2011-10-25T20:42:00.002-04:00

Happy birthday to you!

Random Fact

2011-10-24T14:12:00.002-04:00

My Chinese name means Peaceful

Vote for me!

2011-10-22T11:45:00.000-04:00

Over at "A ray of Sunshine"! I'm a finalist in her photo contest! There's a poll on her sidebar. :)

Random Self Portrait

2011-10-20T19:48:00.002-04:00

I look so vulnerable...

Feeling Stuck? Read this.

2011-10-20T11:56:00.003-04:00

From my Tumblr:

Emily Bear is going to Zurich, Switzerland for an ice skating show where she’ll be playing her new original compositions while skaters perform their routines to the pieces.

Why isn’t it me?

God didn’t want me to be Emily. That’s why.

I was talking to a girl at our youth group several weeks ago. “I hate ___,” she said, referring to our hometown. “The people are all old and mean and there’s nothing to do.”

Whaaaa?

I didn’t really have anything to say at that moment. I’m sure she has a best friend. I’m sure she loves at least one person besides her family. Then why would she want to leave? God put her here because He wanted those people to come into her life. And He wanted her to come into THEIR lives.

God put me here instead of in Emily’s shoes because he wanted certain people to come into MY life. My friends Eden, Kourtney, Vanessa, Julia, Faith, Asia, Brianna, Rachel, and a billion other people I LOVE are people I most likely would NOT know if I lived in Rockford, Illinois, as Emily. My dance teachers, who are friends, mentors, and of course, teachers, would certainly not be my teachers if I lived in Illinois as Emily. I’m good with my almost 35,000 viewcount on YouTube. That’s famous enough, thank you.

Take a look at yourself. Do you want to move back to wherever you moved from? Do you wish you lived in the big city, like New York or Chicago? DON’T! Some of the people you LOVE the most are right in the town where you are! And I can guarantee that if I know you, I am SO BLESSED to know you and have you as a part of my life. If you weren’t here, I wouldn’t know you! EVERY person I know (as crazy or kooky as they may be sometimes *wink*) has made my life a little brighter. That means YOU!

God’s got a plan for you. Get ready. Life is a HUGE God-inicdence. You’re here because God wanted you to be. Be happy!

Love This!

2011-10-19T16:29:00.001-04:00

Photo Contest over at "Ray of Sunshine"

2011-10-19T11:59:00.001-04:00

I AM SO IN LOVE with how this turned out. This is a bit from Debussy's "Doctor Gradus ad Parnassum" which is one of my favorite pieces to play.

Growing

2011-10-18T17:21:00.000-04:00

Man, she looks so much older!

My new piano

2011-10-18T11:21:00.001-04:00

Carnival 2011

2011-10-18T11:17:00.002-04:00

Life Defined: Real Friends

2011-10-17T11:18:00.000-04:00

REAL Friends...listen to you when you're upset.

REAL Friends...give you good advice.

REAL Friends...open up to you, and vice versa

REAL Friends...love you for who you are. Period.

REAL Friends...don't treat you like a dweeb.

REAL Friends...love you regardless of your age.

REAL Friends...don't care about the color of your skin, how thin you are, what color your hair is, how tall you are, what color your eyes are, how you dress...etc

REAL Friends...tell you your voice sounds good even though you think it sounds like a dying moose. (I can vouch for this one!)

REAL Friends...encourage you

REAL Friends...are always there for you, be it through email, phone, or prayer

REAL Friends...don't care about how weird your family is

REAL Friends...stand up for you

REAL Friends...love you. No matter what.

LifeTeen Mass on Sunday!!!

2011-10-13T18:10:00.000-04:00

I'm singing for the first time at LifeTeen Mass on Sunday! I'm excited! Way excited! Because we're singing this! :D

Thinking Ahead is to Going Crazy

2011-10-12T15:26:00.001-04:00

EDITED TO ADD: This will be in December, not October. :)

...As the holiday season is to lots of dancing! I got an idea of our Christmas schedule for dance on Monday...and it's gonna be another crazy weekend. A lot of you probably remember last year's Christmas cantata; one week to memorize four dances. Yeah. Crazy. This year, we're starting planning in October, so it probably won't be as bad. So far, in one weekend (second weekend of December), I have one, possibly two Christmas cantatas at separate churches (one Friday night, one Sunday morning), a Christmas parade (Saturday night), and...LifeTeen Mass on Sunday evening! Aaaah!

Photo Contest Entry

2011-10-12T14:54:00.001-04:00

Hysterical Family

2011-10-10T13:58:00.000-04:00

Renee (screen name): "There's a hole in the ozone layer? I'm gonna fix it with duct tape!"

Mom: [About a marionette cat] "He looks like a rock 'em sock 'em robot!"

Dad: "Trini, I don't want you feeling like hitting yourself in the face with a board."

Mom: "Those lizards remind me of my cat."

Renee: "I knew you were suspectable to those kinds of things." (meaning susceptible)

Did you notice that there aren't any quote on here from me? I NEVER say stupid stuff. Never. Ever.

God, Where Are You?

2011-10-10T09:35:00.002-04:00

If you've been reading my Tumblr, you know how my week has been going.

Forget about that right now. A teacher from our online academy just had his daughter and unborn grandchild die in a car accident. I don't think there are any other words to say now, except please pray for him!!!!

One suggestion...

2011-10-09T21:07:00.000-04:00

DO NOT try to choreograph a dance to "Thriller" using a chicken as a prop. NEVER, EVER try that. :P

P.S. I update on my Tumblr more because I've been in a bad mood and you can steer clear of it on here. So if you really and truly want to see me mad, go to my Tumblr.

P.P.S. I got me a solo/duet (not sure yet) part in choir!!!!

That one bit from 2:20 to 2:50. (Name above all names, etc.)

Pretty Please...

2011-10-07T22:23:00.000-04:00

will you play the piano in choir?

I've heard that from five people! I haven't really wanted to...until I found out that Emily Bear is transcribing her arrangement of "Silent Night". *Jumps through the roof screaming*

I know it's early yet, but I just wanted to give ya'll an idea of what I may, or may not, be playing during Mass at some point. Not as an accompaniment; just as a solo. Accompaniment scares me. Here it is!

Updates on Me

2011-10-07T19:58:00.002-04:00

I've been posting on my Tumblr lately; I'll still be posting on here, but I've posted a few times on Tumblr today. If you have a comment or a question, there's a button on the left sidebar that says "Speak your mind but please be kind". Feel free to drop me a note there.

Something Very Special...

2011-10-06T13:17:00.002-04:00

I'm (hopefully) getting something very special!!!! Can anyone guess what it is??? AND, since I don't know when I'll be getting it, you'll just have to wait for me to get it to see!!! :D I love torturing you guys every now and then. ;-)

Clues: Music, writing, piano

Tuesday Quicky

2011-10-04T15:58:00.000-04:00

One of my friends, F., pointed out to me at choir on Sunday that next year, I will have been playing piano for half of my life.

Sacred Life

2011-10-02T21:07:00.000-04:00

Today is Pro-Life Sunday. Today we did the Life Chain. Today a family friend of ours came to talk at LifeTeen (our youth group) about his work; he goes and tries to help mothers who are considering abortion.

Many of you know that I'm adopted. If not, then, I'm adopted! Now you know. :) I'm adopted from China. They have a one-child policy, so if you have more than one child, you can be either fined, thrown in jail, or forced into abortion. My birth-mom gave me up when I was four days old. Now, it would have been just as easy for her to abort me, rather than carry me to term, have me, and then go through the pain of giving me up.

But God!

She somehow decided to go through with it, give me up, have me placed with two people that she had never and probably would never meet. If she hadn't done that, I wouldn't be here.

Shocker, isn't it? Because one woman made one choice, I'm here, writing for you.

So, when you think about it, I'm an abortion survivor! Now, I'm not a survivor in the way that most people think about abortion survivors, but because my bio-mom could have easily just gone through with it and didn't...

I gave this (impromptu) speech during our LifeNight tonight. I don't usually volunteer myself to speak in public, but I just felt a tug (that's the Holy Spirit for you!) to do so.

This is a scale of baby feet at ten weeks after conception! Cool, huh?

Quick change of subject!

CHOIR PRACTICE today!!!! I really enjoyed it; there's one kid who's absolutely tone deaf...and I was next to him. I don't have a real good voice, but I can match pitch and everything. He's doing it to glorify God though, so whatever goes!!! :)

I sing at Mass for the first time two weeks from now!!!

Internet Bug

2011-10-01T11:03:00.001-04:00

I'm everywhere on the internet now!!! I'm on Blogger, YouTube, and now, Tumblr!

Feel free to check it out! I have a few Emily Bear pieces up on my Tumblr.

found this adorable picture of Emily!

Randomess

2011-09-30T09:51:00.002-04:00

Strike Through Means I Have/Do

Appearance

I have/had piercings besides the ears.
I want piercings besides the ears.
~~I have many scars.~~
I tan easily.
~~I wish my hair was a different color.~~
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
I have/want a tattoo.
~~I can be self-conscious about my appearance.~~ (Sometimes)
~~I have/had braces.~~
I have more than two piercings.

Embarrassment

Disney movies still make me cry sometimes. (Never seen 'em!)
~~I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.~~
I’ve glued my hand to something.
~~I’ve laughed until some kind of beverage came out of my nose.~~
I’ve had my pants rip in public.
I’ve touched something sharp/hot/etc to see if it would hurt. (I'm afraid of pain!!!)

Health

~~I’ve gotten stitches~~. (In the mouth...)
I’ve broken or dislocated a bone.
I’ve had my tonsils removed.
~~I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed~~. (Victory cheer!!!)
I’ve had chicken pox.

Travel

~~I’ve been to Florida.~~
~~I’ve driven/ridden over 200 kilometres in one day.~~
~~I’ve been on a plane.~~
I’ve been to California.
~~I’ve been to Asia.~~(Born there!)
I’ve been to Niagara Falls.
I’ve been to Vanuatu or the Mystery Islands.
I’ve been to the Caribbean. (I will soon!)
I’ve been to Europe.

Experiences

I’ve gotten lost in my city.
~~I’ve seen a shooting star.~~
~~I’ve wished on a shooting star.~~
~~I’ve seen a meteor shower.~~
I’ve gone out in public in my pajamas.
~~I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.~~ (Makes for FUN...and a never ending elevator ride!!!!!)
I’ve slapped someone.
I’ve kissed someone underwater.
~~I’ve chugged something.~~
I’ve crashed a car.
I’ve been skiing.
I’ve been in a musical.
~~I’ve auditioned for something.~~
~~I’ve been on stage.~~
~~I’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue.~~
I’ve sat on a rooftop at night.
~~I’ve pranked someone.~~(Tried to; didn't work.)
~~I’ve ridden in a taxi.~~

Honesty / Crime

I’ve been threatened to be arrested.
I’ve broken a law.
~~I’ve done something I promised someone I wouldn’t.~~
~~I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.~~
I’ve snuck out.
I’ve lied about my whereabouts.
~~I’ve cheated while playing a game.~~
I’ve been in a fist fight.

Materialism

I own over 5 rap CD’s.
I’m obsessed with anime/manga.
I collected comic books.
I own a lot of makeup.
I own something from Pac Sun.
I own something from The Gap.
~~I own something I got on E-Bay.~~
I own something from Abercrombie.
~~I thrive on compliments.~~("Words of affirmation" is my love language! True story!)
I thrive on hate.

Random

I can sing low key.
I’ve stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant. (Whaaaaa?)
~~I open up to others easily.~~
~~I watch the news occasionally~~ or always.
~~I don’t like to kill bugs.~~(I don't like 'em, but I don't like killing 'em, either.)
I sing in the shower.
~~I’m a morning person.~~
I’m a sports fanatic.

~~I twirl my hair.~~
~~I care about grammar.~~(I'm a grammar Nazi!)
I love to spam friends.
I’ve copied more than 30 CD’s in a day.
~~I bake well.~~(Boxed baking, anyway!)
~~My favourite colour is either white, yellow, pink, blue, red, black, purple, or orange and green~~
I would wear pajamas to school. (Would, could, but don't.)
I like Martha Stewart.
~~I laugh at my own jokes.~~
I eat fast food weekly.
I’ve not turned something in and still got an A in a certain class.
~~I can’t sleep if there’s a spider in the room.~~
~~I’m really ticklish.~~
I like white chocolate.
~~I bite/used to bite my nails.~~
~~I’m good at remembering names.~~
~~I’m good at remembering dates.~~

People

..used to ask if I was anorexic/bulimic.
..called me fat.
..have said I’m skinny.
..have said I’m ugly.
~~..have said I’m pretty.~~
~~..have spread rumors about me.~~ (I'm sure it's happened to everyone....)
..force me to eat.
..say I eat too much.
..say I eat too little.

Eating

~~I’ve lost weight.~~ (I think everyone has at some point...)
~~I’ve gained weight.~~(See above comment)
I’m at my thinnest.
I’m at my biggest.
I’ve lost weight and kept it off.
I’ve lost weight, but gained it back.
My weight affects my mood. A lot.
I diet.
I’m vegan/vegetarian.
~~I exercise.~~
I’ve fainted from exhaustion.

Family

I’ve sworn at my parents.
I’ve planned to run away from home before.
I’ve run away from home.
I have a sibling less than one year old.
~~I want kids in the future.~~
I’ve had kids.
I’ve lost a child.

Relationships

I’m engaged.(I'm 15!)
I’m married. (I'm 15)
~~I’m single.~~
I’ve gone on a blind date. (Once again, I'm 15!)
I have/had a friend with benefits. (I have no idea what that means.)
~~I miss someone right now.~~
~~I have a fear of abandonment.~~
I’ve gotten divorced.
I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back probably.
~~Someone has/had feelings for me when I didn’t have them back.~~
I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
I’ve kept something from a past relationship.

Sexuality

~~I’m a cuddler.~~
I’ve been kissed in the rain.
~~I’ve hugged a stranger.~~
I’ve kissed a stranger.

Bad times

I regularly drink.
I can’t swallow pills.
I can swallow numerous pills at a time without difficulty. (I choke!)
I’ve been diagnosed with depression at some point.
~~I have/had anxiety problems.~~
~~I shut others out when I’m upset.~~
~~I don’t have anyone to talk to when I’m upset about something personal.~~
I have taken/take anti-depressants.
~~I’ve slept an entire day before.~~
I’ve plotted revenge.

Pray Twice

2011-09-29T15:55:00.001-04:00

"When you sing, you pray twice."

I'll be praying twice. I'm joining our youth group choir! We sing once a month at Mass and then have rehearsals in the interim.

Jackie Evancho. This girl can SING. She probably has angel genes. If I could sing like her, I'd have no trouble doing solos. Seeing as I CAN'T sing, I won't do solos. I'd clear the church in a second. My first rehearsal is on Sunday. I'm really excited!!!

Elsie Dinsmore Series: "Elsie's Impossible Choice"

2011-09-29T14:05:00.000-04:00

"Oh, Papa! Can it be true that I don't love Jesus as much as I used to?"

So I stumbled across this in the library of a local church during our Tuesday co-op. I had already read the first book in the series, Elsie's Endless Wait, but I couldn't find this one. When I found it, I had to check it out.

Here are a few things that you will need to know about the first book:

Elsie is eight, now nine, years old.
Elsie's father just came home for the first time; it's the first time Elsie has seen him since she was four.
Arthur, Elsie's nine year old uncle, torments Elsie relentlessly

The book takes a little while to get going. It starts with Elsie's father, Horace Dinsmore, reflecting upon his decision to know Christ from the previous book. It then goes into some of Elsie's history and you get to know her relatives, with whom she lives at Roselands.

Elsie's uncle Arthur, angry because Elsie wouldn't loan him five dollars, pushes her down a hill on New Year's Eve in an act of revenge. Elsie recovers, but Arthur was sent away to boarding school. In spite of everything that Arthur has done to her, she begs her papa to forgive him once more, because she couldn't imagine being sent away from her family to live on her own. Horace, of course, thinks this is a ridiculous notion.

The title of the book comes into play in the chapter titled "The Clash of Wills". This chapter is similar to "Elsie's Sabbath Day Choice" from the first book. In "Sabbath Day Choice", Elsie's papa asks her to play the piano and perform a piece that is not a hymn. Elsie would gladly have done it any other day, but on the Sabbath, but she could not break the Sabbath. This made her father angry.

In "Clash of Wills", Elsie's papa once again asks her to do something that she did not want to do on the Sabbath. He asked her to read the newspaper and she insisted that it would be breaking the Sabbath if she did so. Her father eventually banishes her from his presence, breaking Elsie's heart. I won't reveal anything more, but the story has an amazing end.

I love Elsie's devotion to God and her faith. Elsie was only nine in this book, and although strong love for God and faith wasn't uncommon for young girls in that time, it was still amazing to me that someone as young could have such a dedication to Christianity. The way the book was written was very old fashioned in it's grammar and vocabulary choice. It actually reminded me of Little Women a little bit because of the way they characters were described.

I can't really think of any cons in the book aside from the viewpoint of salvation. I'm Catholic, so I'm a bit biased.

I would highly recommend this book and the first book, although I'm sure that all the other books in the series are just as good.

Strength of plot: *****
Strength of Characters: *****
Christian element: *****

Help Us See

2011-09-26T16:47:00.000-04:00

Helps us do Your will, o Father

In the name of all that's true

Help us see in one another

The loving image of you

Becoming Reality

2011-09-23T23:04:00.003-04:00

Edited to add: This is NOT a Steinway and that photo is not of my piano. I'm getting a used Kawai piano.:DDDD

You know how in the movies that the girl asks for a house for her mom or a job for her dad or a pony for her sister and then the doorbell rings? Well...life isn't exactly the movies. Sometimes you have to stay in the grungy old apartment with Mom for a while. Sometimes you have to move because Dad can't find a job. And everyone is glad that little sister doesn't have a pony for them to clean up after.

Well, right now I have an idea of how pony-girl feels when she gets that beautiful white pony. I'm not getting a pony...or a new house...or a job. I am getting a white something that starts with a "P".

Big Numbers are Beautiful

2011-09-23T19:11:00.001-04:00

I'm trying not to post much so ya'll can see the post about the coupon code from eShakti, but I HAD to post this.

Date: September 23, 2011
Time: 6:57
Occasion: 30,000 views on YouTube!!! (I've been on there since January 1 2011....the status thing is all messed up.)

That Perfect Dress ♥

2011-09-22T13:05:00.002-04:00

I got my dress from eShakti yesterday!!!! I haven't gotten around to taking photos of me in it yet, but I'll try to do it soon. It fits really well and it's so comfortable! I'm actually wearing it with a plain red t-shirt over it (but it looks great with it under it, too). I got it custom made and it came in less than two weeks! The fabric is really pretty and it is really nice.

The dresses and skirts and tops are modest (and even the ones that aren't so modest can easily be made modest by adding a shirt or leggings underneath) and for custom made clothing, the prices are great!

Now, $50 may or may not be your definition of affordable. That's a bit pricey for me. But if you knock off $20? $30 dollars for a dress? Not bad! Or use it on something in the 40% clearance area? Well now, that's not too bad!

As a little present for you, I have a code for 20 dollars off your purchase! And, each time you use it, I get ten dollars store credit, so it's a win-win. THE CODE HAS BEEN CHANGED; THE ONE I HAD HERE YESTERDAY NO LONGER WORKS. Here's the code:

TC212

This code is just for you! When you shop at eShakti and use this code, you get $20, yes, $20 off! You can use it on anything (and that's ANYTHING)!

So go use it on the perfect modern and modest dress you thought didn't exist! Feel free to Facebook or Tweet or post this code for others to use! You can give this to any of your other family members, too! Comment and let me know if you decide to use this code.

Guess What...

2011-09-22T07:05:00.001-04:00

I'm having a better day today and I have a surprise for ya'll later!!!

Ranting

2011-09-21T17:05:00.003-04:00

EDITED TO ADD: Someone (anonymous) commented on this post and I feel the need to say something. I did NOT write this post to generate pity. I just needed to rant. I'm sure that even anonymous has needed to rant. (Because I may know anonymous personally, I will try not to be rude.) I can't express my feelings at home because there's never anyone to listen. If you don't like my ranting posts, there's one thing YOU can do; don't read them! It's not that hard to do!!!

One more thing: Anonymous, if you ever visit my blog again, please tell me who you are (first name only). I don't like anonymous comments regardless of the topic because of safety reasons.

(Flashing "selfish" lights are going off in my head...)

I'm sick of my mom.

I'm sick of my dad.

I'm sick of my sister.

I'm sick of doing school, school, school, and more school.

I'm sick of doing what everyone else wants me to do.

I'm sick of not being able to do the stuff I want to do because of mom, dad, school, or sister.

I'm sick of not getting my way. (okay, I almost never say that!)

I'm sick of being a girl's friend at dance when two other girls aren't there and when the two girls are there, I'm just a nobody.

I'm sick of going to the trouble to do a really nice post (like photo editing) and getting zero comments.

I'm sick of feeling un(appreciated, loved, important).

(If you can't tell, I haven't been having a very good week.)

Some Calendar Photos

2011-09-19T21:10:00.002-04:00

(Sorry it's sideways!)

I'm going to try making calendars as Christmas presents this year and these are four of the photos I will use.

One Photo, Many Edits

2011-09-19T09:26:00.000-04:00

The Original...

You like? :)

I Edited.

2011-09-17T23:21:00.002-04:00

(My mom said that this might be confusing; it's two of my lizards inside one of my shirts.)

If you don't have a Catholic Bible, look this verse up! I still have this rose (that I was given in June) that I dried; it came from a very dear friend of mine!

That's all for now!

Why I Rarely Post Photos

2011-09-17T22:05:00.000-04:00

You've seen the beautiful edited photos.

Of little ones...

via

via

Or of wildlife...

via

Or of people. (This is my E-friend Adelyn; isn't she pretty?)

Well...I'm too lazy (and too busy) to do much editing.
(And my camera is pretty un-snazzy.)

Whether they're of little(ish) ones...

or wildlife...

or of me.

So...this is what happens when I DO get time to edit photos.

Of little ones...(this is the best one I had)

Or of wildlife...

Or of me.

I think I have a new hobby.

For You, Vivi!!!

2011-09-16T22:20:00.000-04:00

I got a letter from Vivi!!! It's..."Y"!

I actually think that "Q" would have been easier, but here goes!

The color Yellow
Yachts
YouTube (My channel, in particular!)
Yahweh (That's the big one!)
Yellow-breasted buntings
Yangtze River (near where I was born!)
Yoga
Yahtzee
Yo Yo Ma :)
Youth

Okay, Vivi, you're in for it this time! You get "Q"!!!! Seriously! :D See what you can do with that. :)

Dear America, Dear Canada

2011-09-16T12:58:00.000-04:00

I'll bet that a lot of you have heard of the historical fiction series "Dear America". Even though I'm not Canadian, I was excited to find that there's a series called "Dear Canada" as well! I know shipping will probably be horrendous, but I plan to get some from the Canadian Amazon website. There's one that I really want to read called "One Fatal Night" and it is about the Titanic. I've kind of gone on a Titanic "frip" as my mom calls it (which probably doesn't bode well, seeing as I'll be going on a cruise sometime soon). If you have any historical fiction books about the Titanic, give me the name! I have some issues with my library card right now...:( I'll take a look at them ASAP. :)

Because I Love It.

2011-09-15T18:44:00.000-04:00

Don't Ruffle my Feathers

2011-09-14T11:30:00.001-04:00

My LEttEr

2011-09-13T16:08:00.001-04:00

Sorry this took so long, Jo! I don't check other people's comments much!

My letter is...

Ten things I love that start with the letter "E"? Here goes!

Emily Bear (of course!)
Erin S. (one of my top commenters!)
Elegant clothes
Easter
Elephants
eShakti
Enjoying the Small Things
Etudes by Chopin
English accents
Everything pertaining to pianos or classical music (or Emily Bear)
Early spring weather
Eating dinner with my aunt (doing that tonight!)

Wow, you wouldn't believe how much time that took!!! That was insane! (That was twelve.)

Anyone else want a letter?

Reflecting: 9/11

2011-09-12T08:58:00.005-04:00

I was really thinking about 9/11 yesterday.

The horror that people must have felt.

People were jumping from ninety one stories up. Ninety one! Can you imagine free-falling for TWELVE WHOLE SECONDS from hundreds of feet up?

People were literally incinerated because the temperature of the fires was so incredibly high.

People were blown to smithereens.

And others survived.

I think that maybe the survivors had it the worst.

Could I have stopped it?

I should have died instead of him.

She had so much of her life ahead of her; why did she die, not me?

And of course, they remember the events of that day. Even if they didn't die during the attacks, I'm sure that part of their spirits did.

Maybe I've been thinking about this so much because I've experienced some pretty difficult things myself. My grandfather died when I was eleven. My grandmother died when I was twelve. My aunt and uncle died when I was 13. Yes. You read that correctly That's four relatives in less than three years. Why did they die instead of me? They have so many more people who love them; I'm just a kid who nobody's even heard of. I haven't made a difference.

A girl who lived near us got infected swimming in the river and passed away. That could have been me. Why wasn't it me?

But God has a plan for everyone. Whether it is to live through a horrific attack or to survive and make a difference, or to die and leave a legacy, or to experience the death of a friend and go through the process of grieving or to die and through your death make good changes, God's plans are ALWAYS in our best interest.

But it must be SO HARD for those left behind! The THOUSANDS of family members. The children. The spouses. The parents. I don't know how they managed to keep on going.

And then, for those who did not lose anyone on 9/11, there is still the fear that we might get attacked again. One of my friends came up to me and said that her cousin works on the top floor of an office building and she was afraid that they might get attacked.

Even myself, though we live hundreds of miles away from New York, when I was told what had happened, I was afraid that planes during the night were going to plow through our house and kill me. And, to tell you the truth, ten years later, sometimes I still worry about it!

But what does God say?

I'm afraid we'll get attacked again.

Trust Me.

What if one of my family members is killed?

Trust Me.

I should have died, not her!

Trust Me.

Why did you let me survive, only to remember this?

Trust Me.

His plan is always bigger, better, and wiser than any plans we could make. Is it hard to trust Him? OF COURSE it is! But that's when we need to let go of what we think is right and what we think should have happened and let HIM take control of our lives.

I pray that God will show His infinite mercy to the people behind the attacks.

I pray that everyone who died in the attacks are at peace.

I pray that everyone affected by the attacks who survived can find peace.

10 Years: Still Remembered, not yet Forgotten

2011-09-11T14:45:00.007-04:00

Ten years ago today, I was five.

Ten years ago today, I didn't understand.

But now I do.

Ten years ago today, thousands died.

Ten years ago today, hundreds of rescue personnel tried to save the thousands trapped in the World Trade Center.

How admirable they were!

How admirable they all were!

They stood up for our country.

I pray they are all at peace.

Ten years ago today, my dad was taking a break at work...and saw the planes go in. I can't imagine the horror he felt.

The people behind the plot; they had never experienced God's AMAZING love.

They chose to hate instead of love.

Today at Mass, we heard "You must forgive your brother not seven times, but seventy seven times seven." Translated from Hebrew, it it an infinite number of times.

It's so hard to forgive those behind the attack.

But God commands that we must.

ALWAYS remember.

NEVER forget.

Please pause the playlist at the bottom of the page.

Restless

2011-09-09T22:30:00.000-04:00

It's all over the news...wars...job losses...debt...how is a person to cope?? Toss in the normal problems of life...death...divorce...and you have complete chaos. SO MANY things are out of our hands.

So what are we supposed to do?

Yeah, you could kill yourself, move to the middle of nowhere, or take a life-long vacation to Antarctica and stay with the penguins. But for most people, those things aren't an option.

So what are we supposed to do?

We can't do anything ourselves. We feel stuck. Nobody can help.

The truth is, for a lot of people, they get so caught up in the trouble of life that they forget about the One who is always there for you.

One of my favorite Bible verses is Isaiah 46:4. If you don't know it, I suggest you look it up.

He will!

You just have to rest in Him and let Him take care of everything.

When You Give a Girl a Pencil...

2011-09-08T21:03:00.004-04:00

I do it for fun. Sadly, I don't get around to it much.

I drew today. I had to remember the peace sign...

the signature smile...

the name...

and the comparison!

Third Post of the Day

2011-09-08T20:57:00.000-04:00

(I'm not done yet!)

I was doing the dishes and a knife slid off the counter. Just as my sister asked me to help her with something, it fell to the floor. When I turned back to the dishes, what I saw chilled me through. The knife fell exactly where my foot was! If that's not guardian angels, I don't know what is.

Why I LOVE Rainstorms

2011-09-08T20:34:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday!

2011-09-08T09:07:00.000-04:00

You gave birth to our Savior...

You stood and watched Him die for us...

You ascended into heaven, both body and soul...

You are Mary, my heavenly mother!

And today is your birthday!

Happy birthday, Mama! I love you so much!

The Joy of a Fish Toy

2011-09-07T17:16:00.002-04:00

Who knew...

that lizards...

would enjoy...

Something as silly as a fish toy...

so much?

Certainly not me!

Ah...life is good.

Birthday!

2011-09-07T12:19:00.001-04:00

Well...I didn't get much for my birthday. In fact, all I got was one present. Kind of like last year. Except...this year's present is much more...well...

...extravagant.

My family has always wanted to go on a cruise, but we either haven't been able to afford it or we haven't been able to get enough time cleared, or we weren't sure all of us would like it, etc., etc. Well, my mom and I are the guinea pigs! We are going on a three day cruise (don't know the line or anything like that) to the Bahamas! (QUALITY TIME!!!!) To quote my mom, "If you get seasick, three days is a blessedly short amount of time, and if you love it, we might be able to go for longer next time." I'm really excited; we don't know the day, the time, the ship or anything like that; we still have to get my school schedule squared away. I just won't watch Titanic again until after I get back. :-) I'll keep ya'll posted!

ViolinTay

2011-09-04T17:17:00.001-04:00

As many of you know, my inspiration for piano is Emily Bear. My inspiration for violin is Brianna Kahane. However, I found another very good violinist just this weekend...and I'm officially addicted! She doesn't play classical (which is my preference for music), but she does play a lot of pieces that I like.

Hope

2011-09-03T21:39:00.000-04:00

I got "Hope" today! :) It is totally amazing...in its total difficulty! I'm gonna say right now that if you've heard the CD and then looked at and tried to play the music, you wouldn't think you were seeing the same music. It's way harder than it sounds. The one piece that I am working on (Peace) changes key SEVEN TIMES. So as much as it's worth it to learn the pieces, they're really hard!

Photos tomorrow, I hope.

Accident

2011-09-03T14:46:00.000-04:00

One of my lizards, Julio, got stuck in the window and his foot got cut off; he is acting okay and I put some medicine on it, but I'm worried that he'll die. Just say a quick prayer, please!

Er...Fifteen Going on Sixteen

2011-09-02T06:51:00.000-04:00

Well...fifteen seemed forever away. And now it's here. Seriously. Do I feel older? No. I feel the same as a fourteen year old. Which seemed to feel the same as being a thirteen year old. Which felt the same as being a twelve year old. Which felt the same as...yeah, you get the idea. :)

I always feel so much older and smarter and wiser and better than I was when I was ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, etc...and I wonder What am I thinking? Um...NO!

So I'm posting at 6:45 (aah...I wanna sleep in!) because we have to go to Mass with the homeschool group and then go to the park later. I'm not sure what exactly we're doing later...I'm not sure if we're doing anything. *Sigh*

Updates to follow!! :)

By the way, I got this dress yesterday!!

I couldn't decide between the two of them...I finally got the purple.

Love to you all!